E-cig & vape devices targeting teens

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Some of the latest e-cig and vape devices are cheap, as small as your thumb and can even be worn as a watch. Tobacco control experts say awareness among parents and teachers are crucial in keeping this new addiction out of schools. 

LET’S be clear – e-cigs and vape (ECV) are electronic drug delivery devices that can be used with the likes of meth and marijuana, warns Universiti Malaya Centre of Addiction Sciences (UMCAS) chief coordinator and the varsity’s Nicotine Addiction Research & Collaboration Group (NARCC) coordinator, Assoc Prof Dr Amer Siddiq Amer Nordin.

The smoking cessation specialist says there’s a chance that students using ECV will be exposed to other drugs.

“And it’s likely they’ll face the same problems – like poor grades – as students who smoke.”

Dr Amer Siddiq was commenting on findings published in the July edition of the Journal of Criminal Justice.

‘It’s all the rage! Exploring the nuances in the link between vaping and adolescent delinquency’ suggests that there may be something “criminogenic about vaping among adolescents”. But the strength of the relationship between vaping and delinquency depends on what is being vaped, with marijuana vaping being most heavily correlated with delinquency.

Dr Nur Amani@Natasha Ahmad Tajuddin, the lead of the NARCC smoking prevention programme in schools, says when the use of ECV is related to crimes like theft, violence, fighting, bullying, and running away from home, more effort is needed to curb the habit.

“Parents must realise that ECV has negative health, mental, economic and academic impact on youths.”

Young at risk.

Four years ago, ECV use among students was less than 3% because the devices were too pricey for most teenagers, Assoc Prof Dr Anne Yee notes..

According to the Tobacco and E-cigarette Survey among Malaysian Adolescents 2016 (Tecma), a whopping 36.9% of students start on the devices between the ages of 14 and 15, and now, we’re seeing a spike in teenage use..

Easily passed-off as a smart watch, thumb drive or pen, the eye-catching devices look like the latest fashion accessories, says the addiction psychiatry expert and UMCAS member..

“Sellers are going all out to push the product to teens by making it cheaper and more accessible..

“Many even give it free to attract young customers. Drug pushers use the same tactic to get people hooked so that they keep coming back.”.

These days, huge, eye-catching banners adorn night markets with traders openly displaying their wares. Clearly, the colourful e-liquid bottles with fancy names were designed for kids, teenagers and women, she says. These are groups that may never smoke yet we’re turning them into ECV users..

“If sellers are targeting adult smokers who want to quit, they wouldn’t need gimmicks. Why make such fancy designs?”.

Dr Nur Amani says a recent study reported that 22% of children aged between 11 and 15 in England, use ECV compared to 18% who start smoking..

“This is because ECV ads are appealing. Here we have celebrities promoting ECV on social media to entice kids.”.

Dr Amer Siddiq says more needs to be done to prevent a new generation of nicotine addicts from emerging..

“ECV isn’t safe. The devices could burn and the e-liquids could be adulterated.”.

While studies have shown that children and adolescents see ECV as cool, pleasurable and fun to use, Dr Nur Amani says there’s a pattern of kids from lower socio-economic income groups being targeted by unscrupulous sellers..

Getting the girls.

National Union of the Teaching Profession (NUTP) secretary-general Harry Tan says teachers nationwide are noticing a rise in ECV use among girls..

“This is scary because with cigarettes, it was mostly just the boys. But these devices are popular among both boys and girls.”.

Dr Yee is worried because nicotine is being touted as a way to lose weight. It’s like what drug pushers tell women about meth..

As it is, more young girls are experimenting with e-cigs as compared to cigarettes..

Cute cartoon packaging and fruity flavours are aimed at female non-smokers.

Society still has a negative perception of women who smoke. But with ECV, the message is that even ‘‘good girls’’ use it because it’s fashionable and can help you lose weight, adds Dr Yee.

In December last year, The Star highlighted how ECV and e-liquids were promoted as weight management aids.

“Even e-liquids that claim to be nicotine-free contain the drug. And you’ll never know for sure how much nicotine is inside. It could be equal to 20 cigarettes.

“A nicotine high lasts for less than two hours before the craving starts. So getting youngsters hooked on ECV is a business tactic, ” explains Dr Yee.

If your kids are turning to cigarettes, ECV or drugs, it could be because they’re bored or have no one to turn to, she says, adding that children who feel a sense of belonging in the family don’t need these harmful distractions.

Easily addicted

Dr Yee says teenagers are much more susceptible to addiction compared to adults. Some even start to have nicotine cravings after just one try.

“The teenage brain has yet to mature. That’s why adolescents are more impulsive, emotional and susceptible to advertisements aimed at influencing their behaviour.”

Parents whose children are already smoking aren’t helping by getting them an ECV. While it’s better than a tobacco cigarette, ECV is harmful for non-smokers.

When inhaled, tiny chemical particles in the e-liquids can enter the bloodstream and cause long-term harm.

Those between the ages of 10 and 18, adds Dr Nur Amani, are especially vulnerable to addiction.

The medical doctor says e-liquids contain toxic materials like lead, arsenic, manganese and chromium. Exposure to even small amounts can worsen symptoms of ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).

ECV use among varsity students is also worrying, says Dr Amer Siddiq, who was among the researches behind The use of e-cigarettes among university students in Malaysia journal paper published in December.

The study, funded by the Education Ministry, involved 1, 302 students in six Malaysian varsities.

“Over 40% of students smoke and use ECV. This means that ECV has not helped them quit smoking, ” he says, adding that some users even experienced adverse effects like dizziness, coughs and headaches.

Anti-vape campaign

The Education Ministry recently announced that it would intensify awareness campaigns after claims of ECV being freely distributed among students, and photos of youths vaping, went viral.

Calling on parents and society to stop students from bringing the devices to schools, the ministry’s director-general Datuk Dr Amin Senin notes that ECV has become the norm these days – becoming more sophisticated and difficult to distinguish from other electronic gadgets.

Welcoming the ministry’s move, Dr Nur Amani feels it’s important to get tobacco cessation experts onboard to work with teachers.

More awareness campaigns need to be conducted by health scientists, educationists, politicians and non-governmental organisations, to show that ECV use is not “normal behaviour”.

Group activities, instead of talks, work better to impart knowledge. And, it’s more sustainable.

“The children themselves can then act as ‘peer experts’. The impact is greater when the message is shared by those of the same age group.”

Campaigns can be effective if we target parents and teachers, says Dr Yee.

With children and adolescents, the more you say no, the more they will want to try it, she says, adding that parents shouldn’t over-react if they find their child smoking, using ECV or taking drugs.

“It’s not the end of the world. Be an ally to your children instead of acting like the police.”

She suggests talking to children about the dangers out there instead of sweeping things under the carpet.

“Make them realise that sellers only want to make money by getting youths hooked on an addictive habit whether it’s nicotine or drugs.”

The Health and Education Ministries are already working together on the Kotak (Kesihatan Oral Tanpa Asap Rokok) programme to highlight the harms of cigarettes and its related products, says Dr Amer Siddiq.

But with the introduction of newer ECV models, there’s a need to raise awareness among the adults

Citing some pod-and-USB-like devices as examples, he says these have very high nicotine content but most parents and teachers don’t know about them.

Recently, children were mimicking vaping because of what they see on social media, Dr Amer Siddiq says in reference to the crackdown on Ghost Smoke – a candy consumed by sucking on a straw to produce a vapour-like effect.

“The Kotak programme must be enhanced to cover ECV and its dangers especially the impact on young developing brains.”

NUTP’s Tan says most teachers are in a cocoon when it comes to ECV.

“We need to expose teachers to this new threat so that they know what to look out for.

“And teachers must be given more authority. Since we cannot cane and are vulnerable to lawsuits, we want legislation that compels parents of problematic students to come to school and be responsible for their kids’ behaviour.”

UM, says Dr Nur Amani, has been conducting educational and advocacy programmes in schools through its No-Cotine Club and Community and Sustainability Centre (UMCARES).

Trained students go to colleges and schools to carry out activities that de-normalise smoking and vaping, she says.

“Soon we’ll be approaching 80 partner schools to tell our children that EVC is not just ‘evaporated water’.

“The effects are harmful and it’s haram for Muslims. Hopefully when they go home, they’ll share the message with their parents.”

Smoking and IR 4.0

ECV will be among the hot topics at the upcoming KL Nicotine Addiction International Conference (KLNAC) 2020, says its organising chairman Dr Amer Siddiq.

As the country moves towards realising the National Strategic Plan to make Malaysia smoke-free by 2045, it’s crucial to look at all forms of technology that can prevent the uptake of cigarettes, he says.

“We’ve decided on the theme ‘Mission IR 4.0: Redesign Tobacco Control’ because of the emergence of various disruptive technologies that can either assist quitting, prevent youths from starting the habit, or attract people to smoking.

“ECV was initially touted as a way to help smokers quit but we’ve seen how Juul has ended up enticing youths to take it up instead.”

UM, he says, is already using data and technology in its tobacco control efforts.

The varsity’s dental group is working on an app for school children to prevent initiation to smoking.

And, Dr Yee is collecting data to match smokers with cessation apps that are right for them.

“We’ve thousands of smoking cessation apps yet the success rate is only 25%. Each app caters to specific personalities so we’re trying to match smokers with apps that cater to their preferences. This will ensure a higher success rate.”

By CHRISTINA CHIN - Source link

Teens the target for vape products

Cause for concern: Subbarow showing the smart watch vape gadget at the CAP office in Jalan Masjid Negeri, Penang.

GEORGE TOWN: Vape products in all shapes and sizes have been flooding the market, including those targeting schoolchildren.

Besides vape pens and chocolates, the latest is the vape smart watch.

The gadget, which has a strap and detachable watch, is being sold openly in shops for RM132 each.

“These watches can cost less than RM130 and some students are using pooled money to buy and share them.

“They also pay RM50 for a 30ml bottle of liquid nicotine, ” said Consumers Association of Penang (CAP) education officer N.V. Subbarow.

He said recently, teachers in two schools in the state seized vape gadgets from students, showing a disturbing trend of students vaping.

“They look like regular smart watches and teachers may not easily identify them. The liquid is poured into the detachable watch face unit, and the vaping device is shared among the students.

“One can easily lay their hands on the China-made product as they seem to be used by schoolchildren. This could lead to serious health issues.

“The government may have banned cigarettes in schools or public places, but the law still allows e-cigarettes. Sadly, many unscrupulous traders are promoting these products as gifts, ” he said in an interview.

Subbarow also claimed that a preschool teacher confiscated a “cigarette pad” from a five-year-old recently.

“When you roll each page torn off from the small note pad, it looks like a cigarette. This seems to be a plaything among the children.

“There is like a pattern now where smoking is being promoted at an early age, which would have disastrous effects on a growing child. There are no laws stopping profiteering from these gadgets, ” he said.

Subbarow added that students often got away with vaping, compared to smoking cigarettes because they come in many flavours and are water-based, without emanating much smoke or smell.

“The fruity flavours of apple, orange or strawberry cause the vapers to have fresh breath, making it difficult for teachers and parents to know if their children are vaping, ” he said.

When met, two 16-year-olds from a school in Jelutong, who were vaping near the CAP office at Jalan Masjid Negeri, said they bought an e-cigarette for RM100 and liquid nicotine for RM50 and that they smoked outside the school.

One of them said he had borrowed money from another friend and it was nothing new as many peers in his school have e-cigarettes.He said they would also meet after school for vaping sessions.

Subbarow cautioned that thousands have died from lung infections and other diseases due to smoking, which is higher than those who were killed in accidents.

“Our checks in about eight schools showed that the situation is critical. Prompt action must be taken to address the issue, including amending the laws to ban vaping in public places.

“The anti-vape campaign started five years ago when vaping was a hot issue but it soon fizzled out as the Health Ministry did not follow through, ” he said.

“It’s time for drastic action or we’ll lose an entire generation, who will end up becoming vaping addicts.”

By R. SEKARAN - Source link


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Old and abandoned, now newborn baby found abandoned outside house !

Rescued: The baby that was found in Kampung Sungai Sebatang in Alor Setar.

ALOR SETAR: A teenager was awakened from her sleep by the cries of a newborn baby outside her house in Kampung Sungai Sebatang off Jalan Kuala Kedah here.

Normawani Ahmad, 17, said she was awakened by the baby’s cries at about 3am yesterday.

“I looked out the window and saw the wailing infant, who was placed on a red plastic mat. I also heard someone walking away from my house while the baby was crying,” she said when met at the Sultanah Bahiyah Hospital yesterday.

Normawani called her mother, who was sleeping at another daughter’s house next door. They found the baby with the umbilical cord still attached to the body.

“My mother cleaned up the baby and dressed him in my nephew’s clothes.

“We then lodged a police report,” she added.

Kota Setar OCPD Assist Comm Adzaman Mohd Jan said police were looking for the mother and the case has been classified as child abandonment under the Penal Code.

Sources: The Star/ANN

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Malaysian man rescued daughter from sex trade

MALACCA: A man had to storm into a house and put up a fight with two men to rescue his 13-year-old daughter from prostitution.

He received a phone call from a woman, believed to be the landlady, who informed him that she had seen two men bringing in other men to the house where the girl was.

He then stormed into the house and found two men inside in the house. The two tried to stop him from rescuing his daughter.

He shouted at the top of his voice when the two men tried to assault him and neighbours came to help him to get his daughter away from there.

Now, with the girl under the care of the Welfare Department, all the father now wants is for his daughter to know how much he loved her and to explain to her why he did what he did.

“I also want to ask her why she got involved with drugs. I told her so many times in the past not to mix with bad hats,” he said in a choking voice yesterday, adding that he had been unable to sleep ever since the incident.

“I can’t believe this is happening. I am still very traumatised.”

“My girl said that she was also into drugs and received RM20 per sex session from her boyfriend, who also brought her to hotels,” he added.

“I broke down when I saw my daughter and also felt embarrassed when I was told by one of the neighbours that she was among several teenagers involved in prostitution in the area.”

Asked about how his wife was handling the situation, he simply said she was “very disappointed” and refused to talk about what she was going through.

The father said the incident on July 26 was the third time the girl had run away from home.

“My heart sank when I received a tip-off from an anonymous person that my daughter was soliciting for clients at a house in Taman Peringgit. She is my favourite. I love her so much that I never raised my voice or hand when she was mischievous,” he added.

The 46-year-old father of four said his daughter excelled in her studies until she joined the wrong company after her UPSR examinations adding that she was also good in sports and had won several tournaments.

The businessmansaid he would never forgive those who prostituted his “darling daughter”, who had run away from home for the first time with her 26-year-old boyfriend in October last year after he had held a dinner to celebrate when she scored 3As in the UPSR.

Police managed to track her down after he lodged a report and a medical examination revealed that she had been raped.

She ran away again with her boyfriend within hours of being found. This time, the couple went to Ampang, Kuala Lumpur.

The family went looking for her again and the father accessed her Facebook account and found out that the daughter’s boyfriend had posted on his account that sexual services were being offered – with his daughter’s details.

He added that he managed to get his daughter back with some friends although the boyfriend managed to escape.

She ran away for the third time in June – and then came the call from the landlady.

Meanwhile, Malacca police have launched a manhunt for a 26-year-old man, who purportedly pimped the girl to nine men.

Malacca police chief Senior Deputy Commissioner Datuk Chuah Ghee Lye said a 36-year-old client has also been charged under Section 376 of the Penal Code on Aug 2 for allegedly having sex with the girl adding that they were hunting for the remaining eight men.

By R.S.N. MURALI  The Star/Asia News Network

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Groom-to-be RM36,000 poorer !

A MAN is now RM36,000 poorer after his bride-to-be conned him, reported Harian Metro. 

The 39-year-old housing contractor had never met the 25-year-old and only knew her through the Internet for six months, the report said.

The woman, whom he met via an online social networking site, claimed to be a trainee doctor who recently graduated from a local university in Penang.

She also claimed to be an orphan and was in financial difficulties. “She made various promises, including her readiness to be my wife.

“That got me concerned and I also felt sorry for her, what more after she told me that her parents had just passed away,” he told the daily.

According to the report, the woman SMSed him on the first day of their online encounter and asked for RM30 as she was short of money.

“A few days later, she said she had some family problems in the village and asked for RM1,000 which I banked in,” he added.

The amount, the report stated, grew over time from RM2,000 right up to RM20,000 purportedly to build a house in the village with promises that the money would be returned once she started working.

“I deposited the money without any suspicion.

“Overall, I deposited RM36,000 into three different accounts involving 64 transactions,” he told the tabloid.

The woman then ignored his calls and later sent him a SMS to state that everything was a lie.

“I was shocked to receive the SMS. I was conned of RM36,000,” he told the daily after lodging a police report in Alor Gajah.

The Star/Asia News Network -Other News & Views
Compiled by FLORENCE A . SAMY, NG SI HOOI and A. RAMAN

Niceties of Obedient Wives Club (OWC), Obedient Servants of colonial masters, cont...

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FB users urged to support anti-OWC drive

By ISABELLE LAI  isabellelai@thestar.com.my 

PETALING JAYA: “Please save my mummy.”

Facebook users can choose this slogan among five variants to voice their concern over a drive by the so-called Obedient Wives Club (OWC) to get women to be subservient to their husbands.

The man behind the anti-OWC campaign, Matthew Ong, said those who wanted to show their support needed to change their profile pictures to the wallpaper of the Facebook campaign, which featured five slogans, including “Please save my mummy”.

The other variants are “Please save my wife/daughter/girlfriend/yourself”.

Ong's attempt to debunk the OWC drive followed recent statements by leaders of the controversial club that social ills, such as prostitution, domestic abuse and human trafficking, were allegedly caused by wives who were not obedient to their husbands and had failed to sexually satisfy them.

The club gathered international headlines last week for its message that wives needed to obey and serve their husbands in every way, including being “better than a first-class prostitute” in bed.

Ong urged more Facebook users to join the group “We Do Not Want Sexist Nonsense From Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd”, which currently has 3,824 members.

A happy man, a happy home

The Obedient Wives Club hopes that Malaysians can give them a chance to prove their noble aspirations.

THE first thing you see when you walk into the office of the now infamous Obedient Wives Club (OBW) in Rawang, Selangor, is a huge double bed covered with a velvety red bedspread.

In that situation, how does one keep “bordello”, “prostitutes” and “service” from popping to mind?
Noticing our discomfort, the club's national director Fauziah Ariffin gives a small laugh.

“The reporters who came this morning straight away asked us if this is for the sex lessons in our workshop!” shares the slight woman jovially before adding, on a more serious note, “That is how everything has been twisted out of proportion.”

She quickly tries to set things right.

“Sex workshops are not on the agenda for the club; it is haram!”

What they will have, she states, are motivational talks, counselling sessions and discussions among their 1,000 members.

“Of course, we welcome anyone to join,” she enthuses.

The newly-launched wives club catapulted to notoriety around the world recently when its vice-president Dr Rohaya Mohamed said the secret to a happy family and subsequently the solution to all of society's ills is a happy man at home, which can be achieved if women served their husbands like “first-class prostitutes”.

The outrage the remark has incurred is not surprising. Was the remark based on facts? Definitely, avows Fauziah.

“You just need to open the newspaper or watch the news on TV: there are so many sex-related social problems rape, incest, prostitution and sex trafficking.”

Men will not be committing these crimes if they are sexually satisfied at home, she stresses.

“The key to make a man gentle and loving is a first-class loving wife an obedient wife. When the wife is obedient, the husband will be happy and gentle. They will not look elsewhere for the loving they need.”
And like simple economics, cutting off the “demand” for the illegal “sex” will cut the supply.

“The authorities have come up with a lot of solutions and conducted various raids or operations to nip these social problems, but they still exist. The solution we are proposing is one that is guaranteed to work, as it is backed by the Quran,” she explains.

Committee member Siti Maznah Mohamed Taufik tries another argument to demonstrate how a sexually frustrated man can cause violence in society.

“Just yesterday, there was a story about a man who hit his wife with a lesung (pounding stone) because she refused to have lunch with him. Do you believe that? It does not make sense. Just because of lunch, a man would hit his wife until she is hospitalised? I'm sure it is because she did not give him any the night before. That's why he was furious with her.”

For “obedient” wives, Fauziah and Maznah are outspoken and frank about their belief. People have a misconception that they are meek women who are anti-career and anti-education, they say.

“We were all working professionals; I was an accountant and she was an engineer. We were both educated in Australia,” says Fauziah, pointing to Maznah.

“So we have been exposed and we know how difficult it is to balance work and marriage.”
Now, she says, they are businesswomen for Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd, the corporation that runs the OWC, and travel around the world five to seven times a year.

How do they find time to practise what they preach then? “We become obedient wives when we meet our husband. You can say that absence makes the heart grow fonder,” Maznah quips.

She adds that they are constantly learning and reminding themselves about how to become obedient. Many working women, however, are content to neglect their wifely duties, she says.

“With housework, we can get help from maids, our children or family. But with sex, who can help? And if we go back to the time of Adam and Eve, that is the real responsibility of women (to fulfil the sexual needs of men) but many women are neglecting that responsibility, so men have to pay thousands of ringgit just to satisfy their sexual needs.”

And that is where the whole idea of the first-class prostitute service originated, explains Fauziah.

“That is what the statement means you need to be as skilful as a first-class prostitute and give more. It is not about the person, it is the service your appearance, the way you speak to your husband, the way you understand your husband. And it is not just in bed but in everything a wife has to be the best she can. ”
She laments the way her vice-president's words have been misconstrued.

“We are not equating a wife to a prostitute. A wife provides love and affection which a prostitute doesn't,” says Fauziah.

“We wanted to say that a good wife needs to be like a bidadari (an angel), but how many of us have met an angel? It will be difficult for people to relate to it.

“But mention prostitutes, and everyone will be able to visualise and understand the concept.”

Another question emerges: how do they know what first-class service from “elite” prostitutes is like?
“I know because I read about it in magazines and books. For example, I've read many thrillers of how KGB female spies are trained to use their sexuality to seduce men. We just want the service, not to be like the person. Those who read a lot will know what we mean,” shares Fauziah.

They may not look like your typical sex pots but the two women do come across as warm and affectionate.

Malaysians, especially Malaysian Muslims, are hypocritical when it comes to sex, laments Fauziah.

“They act all prudish and don't want to talk about sex. When they get older, the women start distancing themselves from their husband while many sleep in separate bedrooms when scientifically it has been proven that men have sexual needs until they die. That is why we have many cases of grandfathers raping their grandchildren.”

She, however, refutes the notion that the club is unfairly putting the blame on women.
“Men are responsible too. We have never denied that. But the root of the problem is that women are not fulfilling their responsibility to the men.

“If we go back to the Quran, you can see that God says women play a big role in shaping society but to do that they need to be good wives in the whole sense. Men and women are not created equal but women today do not understand that. Instead, they keep demanding that men understand them and fulfil all their wishes.”

The way she explains it, it is indeed a case of “men are from Mars and women are from Venus”.

“Men have only one desire, which is for women, while women have nine desires for a new handbag, new shoes and many more. That is how God created us, and there is a gap of understanding between the sexes.

“That is why women are required to be obedient, so that they can bridge the gap between them and their husband,” says Fauziah.

“Women today, however, feel that it is the men who should understand them and fulfil all their needs,” Maznah interjects.

They believe that is the main reason why society is in a mess (huru hara): because women are demanding for equality in work and marriage.

Fauziah is not worried about young girls getting the wrong message about sex.

“We have children too. If the girls are good and have enough religious education, they will not misunderstand our message and stray from the right path. The basis of our belief is to love and be fearful of God. No religion in the world asks their believers to disobey their husbands,” she says.

As for the effect all the sex talk is having on their image as Muslim women, both Maznah and Fauziah are not too concerned either.

As Maznah puts it, “In Islam, we believe that God created women for men. Sex is natural. If you look at the Quran, there are a lot of references to sex.

“God even promised sexual pleasure from beautiful bidadari in heaven for those who are good. So are you saying that God is sex-crazed or obscene?”

Is sex the only happy factor in marriage?

By HARIATI AZIZAN sunday@thestar.com.my

AFTER more than a decade of marriage, 40-something Susan* and her husband are still hot in between the sheets. However, all the action in bed is cooling off her feelings for her husband.

“I am tired all the time but he is just insatiable,” she confides.

Outside the bedroom, the two management-level professionals hardly communicate, unless there are problems with their children, or huge bills to settle.

Worse, she says, both are addicted to their smartphones. “When we are together, our attention is on our phone reading updates and e-mail or just trying out new Apps.”

Although divorce is not on their minds, Susan admits that the romance is missing from their relationship.

Paul Jambunathan, a consultant clinical psychologist at Sunway Medical Centre, says lack of communication between husband and wife is the main cause of extra-marital affairs and divorces.

“The problem starts when the husband and wife start living on different planets and stop sharing their emotions or stop talking about something other than their children, bills and other domestic problems,” says Jambunathan, who is also a senior lecturer at Monash University Malaysia.

In a relationship, there are many variables because it involves two personalities or personas, he says.

“The two personas interact verbally and non-verbally. One of the most important issues in interaction is intimacy. Unfortunately, we have been relating intimacy to sex and equating sex only to sexual intercourse.

What I am trying to say is that while sex is integral to a happy marriage, we need to define what sex is. Is it only intercourse?”

As he explains, sex is the sexuality expressed between two people and there is a wide spectrum of sexual behaviour.

“If you have feelings for someone, even touching and holding hands will already make you sexually excited. When you later get married and build on that love you have intercourse, sleep together, talk and spend more time together a different kind of sexual intimacy is built.”

Hence, Jambunathan, who has more than 25 years' experience as a consultant, is vexed by the comments made by the Obedient Wives Club (OWC), which suggested that to keep a man from straying from his marriage, the wife needs to please him in bed like a “first-class prostitute”.

“When couples in trouble seek my advice, they tell me that intercourse and sleeping in the same room do not necessarily help (mend their relationship). Sometimes it even creates complications.”

He stresses that it should not be about intercourse but making love.

“Love is not intercourse as people often equate it to; intercourse is a personal, committed and intricate intimacy but it does not last very long. Usually one hour after the act, the feeling is gone.”

Health research consultant Siti Norazah Zulkifli agrees, saying that sex will not sustain a marriage if there are other major problems.

“Sex, no matter how good, is not the only thing that keeps a marriage happy. Couples choose to marry for various reasons love, attraction (physical and mental), companionship, economics, social expectations, offspring ... Sex is only one reason.

“In tribal cultures, for example, land ownership or the number of cows he or she owns may be a factor. Actually, economics may well be a consideration in modern marriages too, and how important one factor is over another depends on the individual.”

Once married, and especially over time, she says, other factors will contribute towards maintaining happiness in marriage.

This includes whether they meet each other's expectations, how they cope with stressful events and their level of commitment to their marriage, compromises each has to make for the other, whether they “grow apart” as individuals and their marital values.

“Not everyone subscribes to monogamy, for example,” she says. Siti Norazah nonetheless concedes that in the literature on what makes happy marriages, sex does predominate as a topic of discussion.

“It may seem that most marriages break up because of some sexual issue (notably, sexually unsatisfied husbands). We should be aware, however, that sometimes what is expressed as a sexual problem has its roots in something else, such as failed expectations. For example, if a person feels resentment towards his or her spouse, it will affect his or her sexual desire to that spouse.”

Some people, perhaps men more so, associate sex with love, she points out.

“Some men feel that his wife doesn't love him if she rejects his sexual advances. Equally, a wife would feel the same way if her husband doesn't want to make love to her. In sum, an individual's sexual development is complex, beginning from a young age, and becomes intrinsic to his or her personality.”

Siti Norazah makes an interesting point, highlighting that most of the studies on marriage and sexual attitudes are based on Western ideals.

“We should recognise that people have different sexual attitudes and sex drives. How they were brought up, sexual norms in their society and culture, exposure to external social influences (for example living abroad or the media), their personality, their sex hormone levels (testosterone, notably) and other factors influence how important sex is to them and how they express their sexual needs.”

Still, she feels that in conservative and chauvinistic cultures, men may not want their wife to be sexually aggressive or “act like a prostitute”.

She opines that the OWC prostitute statement will create a gender bias one that will compound the attitude that there are two types of women the ones they will marry and the ones with whom they will have fun (have sex with) but never marry.

“Conversely, girls may be brought up to repress their sexual desire so the message that their husband's happiness depends on her sexual performance puts the blame on her should there be any marital problem.

“For a married couple, it is not sex per se but sexual incompatibility that could breed resentment or dissatisfaction and cause marital problems such as adultery and divorce.”

According to consultant psychologist Valerie Jaques, a study she conducted a number of years ago showed that one of the most significant factors for high marital satisfaction is when there is a greater awareness and accurate perception of the needs of a marriage partner.

“So when the husband is aware of the wife and perceives her needs accurately by effective communication and vice-versa then there is high marital satisfaction.”

She highlights that it is not just intercourse that reflects how good a marriage is, but rather the intimate and mutual sex in the relationship.

“Very often, if one party is upset or hurt with the other and there is a strain in the relationship, there is lack of sexual intimacy in the marriage. This is different from just having sex to fulfil a need,” she shares.

More importantly, stresses Jaques, although sex is one of the many important elements that make up a marriage, it definitely does not mean that marriage is a legal means for a man to rape his wife. Neither should the wife allow the husband to take advantage of her for his needs.

“Many women are made to believe that they do not have rights in their marriage and that only the husband's rights are to be met,” she says.

Jambunathan agrees that a man does not have the right to demand for sex without consideration of the woman's needs and wants.

“He cannot say I want it now, so give it to me. The woman is an equal partner in the relationship and she has a right to decide the level of intimacy and the platform of the relationship.”

He also disputes the belief that men's biological make-up makes them sexual at all ages and that they have high sexual needs until they die.

“As you get older, your body gets older and your biology will not allow you to have intercourse,” he says, highlighting that half of heart patients are men, and that “many cannot get it up because of their medication”.

However, attitude may come into play and corrupt emotions where the emotions are twisted “will make you think you must have intercourse at any age 60, 70, 80 regardless of your partner's wants”, he says.

* Not real name

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Wives Club (OWC) to offer sex lessons

Signing off for the niceties of colonial masters, obedient servants, wives ...

Obdedient Wives Club (OWC) to offer sex lessons

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Obedient Wives Club to offer sex lessons on how to pleasure husbands

 By ISABELLE LAI isabellelai@thestar.com.my

RAWANG: Sex lessons to help wives “serve their husbands better than a first-class prostitute” will be among the classes provided by the Obedient Wives Club (OWC) to help promote harmonious marriages and counter social ills.

Its vice-president Dr Rohaya Mohamad said it was time sexual prowess took a front seat in marriage, beyond that of the traditional “good mother or good cook” roles.

“A good or religious wife should also be good in bed,” she told reporters after the launch of the club's Malaysian chapter at a golf club here yesterday.

She said a husband who was kept happy in the bedroom would have no reason to stray, seek out prostitutes or indulge in other social vices.

Making its debut: Fauziah Arifin from the OWC giving a token of appreciation to Positive Image Resources Sdn Bhd executive director Datin Zainah Abdul Ghani at the launch of the club in Rawang yesterday. Looking on are Sakinah Rahmanuddin and Selayang Umno deputy chief Datuk Nasir Ibrahim.

 

“The family institution is protected and we can curb social ills like prostitution, domestic violence, human trafficking and abandoned babies,” she said, adding that she believed these problems stemmed from unfulfilled sexual needs at home.

Dr Rohaya, who previously served 15 years as a doctor in the Health Ministry, said the club would also offer counselling and lecture sessions for wives, husbands or couples.

She said the Malaysian chapter had around 800 members while its chapter in Jordan had 200, adding that another in Indonesia was set to be launched on June 19 in Jakarta.

Asked whether wives should remain obedient if their husbands still abused or cheated on them despite being “kept happy” in the bedroom, Dr Rohaya said everyone was subject to God's rule.

“God has His ways and is fair to all. A husband is also subject to God's rule, meaning he can go to hell, too. But a woman must be a good wife to the end,” she said, adding that according to Islam, women should pray, fast during Ramadan, protect their chastity and obey their husbands if they wanted to enter heaven.

Dr Rohaya said the club was undaunted by public criticism, adding that she believed this was a “successful formula” to happy marriages.

OWC and the Polygamy Club were formed by Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd, an organisation founded by former members of the banned Al-Arqam Islamic group.

A mass wedding reception for eight couples was also held during the launch.

The brides were aged 18 to 22 while the grooms were aged 20 to 48. All are OWC members and agreed that disobedient wives were the cause of many social ills.

FB group counters ‘sexist’ wives club

PETALING JAYA: Facebook users have started a group called “We Do Not Want Sexist Nonsense From Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd” after reading about the Obedient Wives Club (OWC) launched by the organisation.

Someone called Matthew Tard Ong wrote that he created the group as he believed both partners played a role in keeping a marriage healthy.

As of 9.30pm yesterday, 133 people had joined the group. The OWC, or Kelab Taat Suami, was launched yesterday. Its members strived to delight their husbands in almost every way.

OWC vice-president Dr Rohaya Mohamad said this included keeping husbands sexually satisfied so they would not turn to prostitutes or keep mistresses.

A Muslim husband, who only wanted to be known by his first name Zul, said he did not agree with the message sent out by the club.

“Yes, sex is important, but you can’t say that it will help curb social ills in such a sweeping manner. “There are other factors involved,” said the 36-year-old technician.

He said men tended to stray for psychological reasons that he himself did not fully understand. Men, he said, could cheat on their wives despite having a happy marriage.

Sociologist and social activist Rohanna Ariffin suggested that OWC members read up on statistics by women’s rights groups and the police to find out the factors that caused domestic violence.

“Women shouldn’t be women’s worst enemy. Husbands have to take responsibility for their own behaviour,” said Rohanna who is also a Parti Rakyat Malaysia central committee member.

She stressed that it was wrong for women to take all the blame for men’s weaknesses.

However, Selayang Umno deputy chief Datuk Nasir Ibrahim said the club was extraordinary and unique.
He said Selayang Umno fully supported the club as most problems had their roots at home.

“There may be negative voices decrying this as male chauvinism but I don’t see it that way. If the family institution is strong with good marital relations, it can help counter social ills,” he said at the launch of the club yesterday.

‘Wives can curb social ills like prostitution by being obedient and alluring’

By ISABELLE LAI

PETALING JAYA: Wives who “obey, serve and entertain” their husbands can help reduce social ills such as prostitution and domestic abuse, according to members of The Obedient Wives Club.

The Club, to be launched Saturday by Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd, aims to teach wives how to keep their husbands happy and contented.

Global Ikhwan, an organisation founded by former members of the banned Al-Arqam Islamic group, also launched the Ikhwan Polygamy Club two years ago.

Global Ikhwan spokesperson Siti Maznah Mohd Taufik said that many social ills were caused by disobedient wives who failed to bring joy to their husbands.

“Domestic abuse happens because wives don't obey their husband's orders. A man must be responsible for his wife's wellbeing but she must listen to her husband,” said Siti Maznah in an interview on Friday.

When asked whether it was the wife's fault for being abused, she said: “Yes, most probably because she didn't listen to her husband.”

Siti Maznah, 48, also stressed that husbands would not stray and turn to prostitutes if wives supplied them with a satisfying sex life.

She said women had the duty of making themselves attractive and dressing up beautifully at home.

“Wives should welcome them with sexy clothes and alluring smiles when in the privacy of their homes,” she said, adding that she herself did the same as everyone in the club practised what they preached.

Siti Maznah, a second wife and mother to five children, said she treated her husband's first wife like her elder sister.

“Altogether, we have 16 children in our household. My husband is a happy man, you can see it from his actions,” she said.

According to her, the Ikhwan Polygamy Club now has over 1,000 members comprising both husbands and wives. The average number of children per polygamous household ranges from four to 26.

Siti Maznah admitted that husbands were not perfect and it was natural for disagreements to occur, sometimes.

“We can have discussions and disagreements. We don't just keep quiet when we don't agree with our husbands,” she said.

However, as long as husbands did not go against Islamic law, their final word was law, she said.

Perak mufti supports Obedient Wives Club

By SYLVIA LOOI and FARIK ZOLKEPLI  newsdesk@thestar.com.my

IPOH: Perak mufti Tan Sri Harussani Zakariahas given his backing to the Obedient Wives Club, which offers “sex lessons” to help women keep their husbands.

Harussani, who recently banned the poco poco dance in Perak, said women needed to be reminded of their roles and responsibilities to their husbands.

The younger generation is too absorbed in cultures that are not their own. Wives must be very obedient to their husbands. - Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria

“The younger generation is too absorbed in cultures that are not their own. Wives must be very obedient to their husbands.

“However, in Islam, the wife can go against her husband if what he does is not according to the religion,” he said, calling for more such clubs to be set up throughout the country as a way to counter social ills.

He was responding to a statement by club vice-president Dr Rohaya Mohamad that a husband who was kept happy in the bedroom would have no reason to stray, seek out prostitutes or indulge in other social vices.

The club had also offered sex lessons to help wives “serve their husbands better than a first-class prostitute”.

However, Johor Islamic Council advisor Datuk Nooh Gadut said the use of the term “first-class prostitute” was extreme, adding that marriages in Islam should not be just for sex but for, among others, love.

The Joint Action Group for Gender Equality (JAG), which includes the Women's Aid Organisation, Sisters in Islam and Women's Centre for Change, said the club's principles were narrow-minded, degrading, and an insult to women around the world.

JAG spokesman Maria Chin Abdullah said Malaysian women had contributed enormously to society and that the latest development was a setback in progress.

“It is degrading to ask another individual in this case, a woman to wait on another person hand and foot. Our group is fighting for gender equality but the club is looking to degrade women even more.

“To objectify women as mere sex objects to satisfy their husbands' lust is simply unacceptable. “I hope more men can speak out against the club's outrageous stand,” she told The Star yesterday.

Social activist Pang Khee Teik said women should realise that they were not only “doing it” for their husbands but for themselves as well.

“We must remember there are people with little or no sex drive. Any campaign by the club must not pressure women into feeling guilty about it,” said Pang, who is also the co-founder of annual sexuality rights festival that advocates equal sexual rights for all.